The Relationship Project

We were recently asked to write an article for our in country volunteer newspaper. Here is what I (Paul) submitted. Tell me what you think:

Anyone who has spent a significant amount of time with my wife and I has heard us talk about relationship. I’m sure that at times we mention it so much that people wish they had ear plugs, or a gun. I’m not talking about a physical relationship or familial relationship, both of which are healthy in the right context, but a general friendship based in a strong relational connection with another.

            Relationship is the reason my wife and I joined the Peace Corps. I’m sure it is the reason many of us did as well. We are all smart, talented people. If any of us wanted anything different we could have signed up to work for any handful of reputable NGOs, who spend a few weeks or months meeting community needs through projects, often without really building solid relationship. Many of these projects fail to be sustainable. Sustainability requires a solid relationship, which requires time. Our two years may go by fast but it is enough time to create these relationships.

            All of us spend our service doing one thing or another. Some of us try and teach people how not to poop worms, while others teach people how to spell poop and worms. No matter what our “project” is it requires a significant amount of relationship. This requires dedication, communication and most of all trust. People need a reason to listen to us. Relationship gives it to them.

            I would go as far to say that our job here is to build solid relationships with community members. I know, I know, we must teach people about phonics and STIs while having quantifiable goals; and that relationship quality is hardly quantifiable. But aren’t those non-quantifiable times in your life always the most meaningful and memorable? Why shouldn’t it be the same for our communities?

            Now Peace Corps staff, I don’t say this to mean that tangible projects and reports about them are not significant, but to say that the relationships we build are the foundation or backbone of these projects. Without them everything we do is destined to fail. Through relationships we learn to understand each other. And how can we help change the world, let alone a country if we don’t understand one another?

            With that I say get outside, make a friend and next time you want to watch a movie alone go gaff with a neighbor. Relationships remain even when our projects fail or our grants fall through. Laugh, love and live with Guyana and let it change you so you can help change it. And if Peace Corps ask what you have been doing, just tell them you are, “working on the relationship project.”