What in the world did I sign up for? I ask myself this more than I’d like to admit, like when the pipes are clogged and we don’t have water for two months, when I haven’t tasted a fruit or vegetable in a week (or two), or when I allow my mind to dwell on how isolated I actually am. What am I doing here? I could be cutting up a pumpkin for fun, not because I have to eat it. I could be curled up on a couch in a hooded sweatshirt sipping a hazelnut latte and wearing socks because my feet are cold. I could be on this couch in said hooded sweatshirt with the delicious hazelnut latte and my sister.
Then I stop and realize that I could be doing a lot of things. I also could have had my Peace Corps application denied. I could be one of the numerous people turned away, but I’m not. I’m one of the lucky ones. I signed up for the unknown, so why in the world am I questioning it? This is service. What did I expect?
I’ll tell you what I didn’t expect: fantastic thunder and lightning storms on a regular basis, green parrots and toucans flying above my head, hearing a creek and waterfall from my house, thousands of stars, the bluest skies, gorgeous babies in slings, the sweetest people as my neighbors, and living in a place most people will never even hear about. I will never again live in such a beautiful place. I get to understand life lived simply and what it means to live off the land and be thankful for food, water, and shelter. How many people can say that?
I'm sure every Peace Corps volunteer asks these same questions. I know I'm not alone but sometimes it's hard to remember that. I often have to remind myself, when I ask what change one person can make is that I'm already answering my question by asking it. One person can only make as much change as one person can. I cannot do it all. I can just make small changes, bit by bit, and that will have be enough.
I introduced my neighbors to blue rasberry Jolly Ranchers. :)
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